Archive for December, 2005

Dec 13 2005

Dean Grey Tuesday

Published by under Current Affairs

Those that work with me know that I’m a sucker for a mash-up (good or bad). Many people also know that I’m a fan of BoingBoing and Cory Doctorow. So when Cory posted a story on BoingBoing about Dean Grey Tuesday it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I decided to join in an change the background colour of my website from white to grey.

Happy Dean Grey Tuesday everyone!

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Dec 06 2005

Jersey Weather Forecast

Published by under Holiday

On the 17th December 2005 I am hoping to go for a day trip to Jersey to do some christmas shopping. I say hope as I was supposed to be going on the 3rd December but the weather was so bad that the boats were cancelled.

At the moment the forecast for the 17th is much better, however that can all change over the next week and a half. So I came up with the idea of making a spreadsheet to track how the forecast changes. I also had the cunning idea of plotting the spreadsheet on a graph so that you folks can see how things progress.

What the graph shows is the average forecast wind speed, pressure (divided by ten) and temperature for the 17th December.

Weather graph

Data provided by Metcheck.

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Dec 06 2005

Have A Chavvy Christmas

Published by under General

This is classic, innit!

There’s this bird called Mary, yeah? She’s a virgin (wossat then?) She’s not married or nuffink, but she’s got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?

He does joinery an’ that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.

One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She’s like ‘Oo ya lookin at?’

Gabriel just goes ‘You got one up the duff, you have.’

Mary’s totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large ‘Stop dissin’ me yeah? I ain’t no kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!’

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who’s six months gone herself.

Liz is largin’ it. She’s filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an’ that.

She’s like ‘Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I’m well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an’ that we are gonna get.’ Mary goes ‘Yeah, s’pose you’re right’

Mary an’ Joe ain’t got no money so they have to ponce a donkey, an’ go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an’ Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an’ that.

But there ain’t no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an’ Joe break an’ enter into this garridge, only it’s filled wiv animals. Cahs an’ sheep an’ that.

Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads. They’re like ‘Respect, bay-bee Jesus’, an’ say they’re wise men from the East End.

Joe goes: ‘If you’re so wise, wotchoo doin’ wiv this Frankenstein an’ myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?’

It’s all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an’ sez he’s got another message from this Lord geezer.

He’s like ‘The police is comin an’ they’re killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt.’ Joe goes ‘You must be monged if you think I’m goin’ dahn Egypt on a minging donkey.’ Gabriel sez ‘Suit yerself, pal. But it’s your look-out if you stay.’

So they go dahn Egypt till they’ve stopped killin the first-born an’ it’s safe an’ that. Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an’ Jesus turns water into Stella.


ps. To all the chavs out there…. we’re not laughing with you, we’re laughing AT you!!!
[forwarded from: Phrixus]

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